Love and Consequences
by Gordon Pasha
Summary: Lilly and Garth are married and very much in love. But Lilly learns something uncomfortable about Garth's past and the consequences may just be enough to tear their love apart. Will Lilly be able to forgive Garth and remember what it truly means to love someone with all your heart? One-shot.


**It's March 15th: "Beware the Ides of March." That's an old saying Lilly should have kept in mind in this next story as she deals with questions of love and betrayal. Will her and Garth's love survive? Read on to find out.**

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**Lilly:** It couldn't be true. It just couldn't be. Garth would never do that to me, to us, to the family we hoped to start someday. I loved him, he knew that, I _loved_ him.

I thought back to how I found out. It was an otherwise normal day in Jasper. Kate and Garth had been out hunting, and I had been waiting in my den, playing with my tail, quietly waiting for Garth to come back so that we could do something together. Just like every day.

He had been gone a long time, a lot longer than I had hoped. It was already getting late and there was no sign of him. I was getting worried and thought about going to ask mom and dad if they heard anything.

But then I said no. I told myself that I was just getting scared for no reason. Like I always do. Silly Omega.

Then I heard a noise outside the den. I smiled as big as I could, expecting Garth to walk in any moment and pick me up in his forelegs and give me one of the biggest hugs I had ever experienced.

My smile fell away as I saw Kate entering. Don't get me wrong, I'm usually happy to see my sister, but I was really missing Garth.

"Lilly, I'm glad you're home," she said.

"Where's Garth?" I asked.

I think I must have shown the worry I was feeling because she frowned.

"He's not with you?" she asked. She already knew the answer, of course, but she felt like she had to play dumb around me. Just like she always does. I hate it when she does that.

I wanted to tell her how much I hated it, so of course I just said, "No," and looked down at my paws.

"Oh," she said in response, "I figured he wasn't. You know, he didn't come back with me and the rest of the Alphas," she said, trying very hard to sound casual and probably thinking I'd buy it.

I was completely surprised. Usually, Garth came straight home with the parts of the caribou he saved for us, like the livers. I always ask him to save the livers for me.

"Wh-where did he go?" I said, my voice starting to tremble like it does when I get really scared.

Kate shrugged. "I don't know. When he was done, one of the Eastern wolves whispered something to him and they took off. I have no clue where they went to. But I thought I should tell you about it so that you didn't get worried."

I think she could tell by the way my body was shivering that it had the exact opposite effect.

"Lilly, it's okay," she said, putting her paw on my shoulder. "I'm sure it's just some emergency with the Eastern Pack. Garth'll be home soon, you'll see."

I knew that she was probably right. She's always right, after all. But there was something that just seemed wrong. I couldn't say what it was, but something was bothering me. I knew I had to find Garth.

Kate had turned back toward the front of the den. "So, I brought something for you, since he didn't have time," she said, though her voice became muffled as she picked it up in her teeth. "It's your favorite!"

She dropped the liver as soon as she saw me leaving the den. "Lilly, where are you going?"

I didn't even bother to stop. "I've got to go find Garth," I answered.

"But you don't know where he went to!"

"I'll find him, don't worry!"

I have no clue why Kate let me go. She was right. I didn't have any idea where Garth might be. This valley's a big place, bigger than you'd think, and I wouldn't even know where to begin looking.

But for some reason, I felt like I knew where I could go. Something inside just told me where to look. And so I hurried down the mountain and toward the east. I didn't really know where I was going; I had never been allowed on the eastern side of the valley before I married Garth and I still had not seen most of it. But I had to keep going; something inside told me this was the right way.

I don't know when exactly I picked up the scents. There were three, I think. Two I couldn't recognize and were really just a massive muddle to me. But the third was definitely Garth. I could tell that in an instant. I knew I was going the right way.

My heart starting pounding as I followed them. I didn't have much time to think, but I couldn't figure out why I felt so nervous. I felt like I didn't even want to follow those scents, like I'd be happier if I just turned around and walked home. But I couldn't anymore. I had to keep going. I had to find Garth.

The scents were getting stronger now, and I was kinda deep into Eastern Pack territory. I really have no idea where – it was probably a longer way than I thought. I felt a momentary fear, remembering that mom and dad had forbid me to ever wander over the border between east and west.

Of course, that didn't matter now that the packs were united and everyone had to respect me because I was married to Garth. I passed several Eastern wolves as I followed the scents, and all of them just nodded and said a respectful, "Miss Lilly," before passing me.

I'm ashamed to admit it, but I didn't pay any attention to any of them. I just kept following the scents and looking for Garth. Finally, they led me to a den. Inside, I heard voices talking. Three scents, but two voices. This was interesting.

Well, it would be, if my heart wasn't pounding so loud that I could barely hear what they were saying. One was Garth's, I could recognize it anywhere. The other was a female. Whether because of my heart or because the walls were too thick, I couldn't make out what they were saying. Whatever it was, Garth did not seem too happy.

Now, I wouldn't consider myself the jealous type, but when I realized Garth was in another female's den, I started to get angry. What on Earth could he possibly be doing in there? Nothing good, right? I felt betrayed. I could have cried, but I knew that wouldn't have helped solve things. Kate used to tell me that when I cried as a pup when she played too rough with me.

So I decided to go in there and give Garth a piece of my mind. But just as I came in, the words he said next made me stop dead in my tracks, "What do you mean she's my daughter?"

I was now barely in the den, but I could see the three of them clearly. Garth was near the center of the den, looking at another red-furred wolf. She was strong and proud and powerful-looking, everything I was not. And beside her was another wolf, smaller, but looking a lot like her, another female with ruby-red fur. She stood a few inches behind the bigger wolf, probably ready to cower behind her. That's exactly how I felt, except I had no one to cower behind.

"Yes, yes, she is," said the bigger red female. "She has to be. You're the only one who could… who could be her father. I didn't tell you before because I didn't want to affect your new life. But then she asked about you and I thought… I thought it really wasn't fair for her not to have a father."

Garth growled at the thought. But I saw him looking down at his own paws, something he never did. It was as though he couldn't make up his mind about something. Then he shook his head at last, "No, I love Lilly and she's the one I want to start a family with. That's not a family either of you are welcome in."

The red female took a few steps closer to him and smiled with understanding. "Please, I don't want to ruin life for you or for Lilly. I just want her to have a relationship with her father. That's not so wrong, is it?"

Ooh, I wanted to go up to her and scratch her eyes out! I could never remember being so angry at anyone that I wanted to cause them harm. I don't like seeing people in pain, but somehow I managed to forget this for a sec.

Garth closed his eyes and shook his head. "I don't know! I just… don't know! You're right, she is my daughter and I should be there for her. But, if I was ever going to have a daughter someday, I wanted to have one with Lilly!"

"Then why didn't you?" I yelped. Then my whole body seemed to go numb. I don't know why I said it. I had been frozen there and felt like I was a thousand miles away, watching everything but not really being present. I didn't think I even had it in me to say or do anything. But I did say that.

All three wolves now focused their eyes on me. Garth turned around swiftly, his beautiful green eyes filled with fear and pain. They locked with mine and for a moment we looked deep into each other's souls and realized exactly the same thing; our relationship would never be the same.

I don't know how long the four of us just stood there in silence. With three sets of eyes on me, I just wanted to run away and go find one of the hiding places which only I knew about. But I couldn't just run out and let that… that female win! I had to stand my ground to show I didn't intend to share Garth with anyone, or her daughter.

The female tried to break the ice by approaching me, "Lilly, it's nice to meet you. I don't think we've ever met. I'm Tiffany and this is my daughter Rosie. How are you?"

She offered her paw, as though I was supposed to shake it or something. I just turned away and faced Garth.

"Garth," I said, quietly but not even trying to hide my anger, "how could you do this to me?"

"Lilly, I–" he began to respond. But I wouldn't let him.

"How could you do this to me when I loved you? When we planned to start a family together? How could you just go out and have a daughter with someone else? Someone who wasn't me?"

"Lilly, it isn't like that," Garth tried to answer. "I never meant for this to happen."

"Liar!" I hollered. And then I turned around and ran out of the cave before he could stop me.

I heard him shouting my name as I forced myself to run at top speed out of Eastern territory.

Once back in the west, I went to one of those hiding places, those little spots all over our territory that only I know exist and where I can be alone. No Garth, no Kate, no Humphrey, no mom and dad. Just me and my broken dreams. I find a little brook hidden behind a hill and sit there, letting my tail fall from my side into the gentle rippling water. And I cry.

I cried for a long time. I don't know how long, but it seemed like an hour or more. And then, I heard someone coming up behind me. I slowly turned my head to see Garth approaching.

Garth! How could he have ever found this place? Nobody knows about it but me! What's he doing here?

"And what are you doing here?" I said.

"Lilly, let's talk about this," he said.

"That's not an answer."

"I know, Lilly, I know. But you need to understand–"

"Understand what? How you betrayed me? Lied to me? Two-timed me? What's there to understand?" And I was once again surprised by the anger in my own voice. I couldn't believe I had the courage to say all those things. I don't even think it was an act of courage, just pure anger. I didn't know I could feel anger.

"I never betrayed you, Lilly, and that's the truth," he says, so strongly that I almost could believe him.

"I don't believe you," I say, hiding my eyes in my tail. I remember too late that the tip is now covered in water. So I get a good splash in the eyes to add insult to injury. The salty water burns my eyes and causes even more tears to flow.

While I'm looking at the various clear strands of tail-fur, I feel him put his foreleg around me. He sits down next to me.

"I love you, Lilly," he says, "and I'd never do anything like that to you. Tiffany is someone I knew in Alpha School. We had a relationship for a while, but then it ended just before graduation. And I never saw her again. I had no idea that she had become pregnant."

I use the dry part of my tail to wipe my eyes and then put it beside me. I look at him coldly. "Then why didn't you ever tell me about her. That you and her had something before?"

"All my feelings for her were gone when I met you. It felt like I had known her in a completely different life. I never thought it was important."

Now he's made me angry. "Never thought it was important? The whole basis of our relationship was a lie and you never thought it was important?"

"Our relationship isn't based on a lie," he said, trying to sound innocent. "I never loved her like I love you. I didn't know what love was until I met you. That is no lie."

"I'm not talking about that! I'm talking about…." Then I realized that I really don't know how to explain it.

He's confused. "Talking about what?"

I can hardly believe that I actually snarled a little. But I had every right. "You should already know!"

He tilts his head. "Can you help me out? Maybe just give me a clue?"

"Grrrrrrrrr," I growl in frustration.

He smiles nervously. "Okay, then maybe can I use a lifeline?"

"Ooooooh, you just don't get it!" I shout. Then I stand up and walk away.

He put his paw on my shoulder but I brushed it off. And then I just left him there and walked back to our den. Well, my den, since I decided that someone can sleep out on the cliff tonight.

That's how my life ended. At least that's what it feels like. It's been several days now. Garth has tried several times to talk with me. Each time, however, I ignore him and, if he gets really persistent, I leave the den and go to find someone else or cry by myself.

Now I try to find excuses to avoid seeing him. I began to hang out with Humphrey and Kate a lot more, but then they found out what was going on and never stopped trying to get me and Garth to reconcile.

I nearly choked when Humphrey suggested that I "look at it from Garth's perspective." He doesn't even like Garth, and he was trying to talk to _me_ about forgiving him.

Meanwhile, however, Rosie's become a more common sight around our home. Garth does his best, I assume, to get to know her, since they spend an awful lot of time together. I see him walking with her sometimes down in the valley. He will be chatting away while she just silently stands beside him and listens, like I used to.

His daughter, his own daughter, but not mine. How could he do this to me?

I know I shouldn't blame her for who her father is. I shouldn't even blame her for wanting to know who he is and meet him. After all, she didn't really mean to ruin my life. But she has. And, more importantly, she has ruined the lives of any pups me and Garth could have had. I just can't forgive her for that.

Now it's become a source of gossip all around the valley. I just caught Sweets and Candy talking about it in whispers.

"You hear about Garth having a daughter?" Candy said.

"Oh, I know!" Sweets responded. "Poor Lilly! If I were her, I'd claw his eyes out. Just like my last boyfriend."

"But Lilly's too sweet for that. She'll forgive him in no time."

That's what Candy thinks! But it hurt too much to hear the other wolves talking about it. I didn't even let them know I was there. I just walked silently away.

But Garth catches up to me at last one day when I go to hide in another of my secret places; an old unused den not too far from Ward Rock. I've just snuck in there when he comes sneaking in after me.

"Garth, what are you doing here?" I yelp in surprise when I see him. "And how do you keep finding my hiding places?"

"Lilly, I know you better than I know myself. It isn't hard for me to figure out the types of places you'd go."

I mentally kick myself as I look away. I've got to come up with some more unpredictable hiding places. Huh, where would I hide if I wasn't me?

"I'm sorry, Lilly, that this had to happen," he says. "I know this isn't easy for you. I don't blame you for being upset with me. But I never did this to hurt you, you have to know that. I didn't even know you at the time. If I had, I would never have gotten together with Tiffany."

"I never had a boyfriend before you," I say quietly.

Garth nods. "I know."

My eyes fix back on him. "So how could you have a girlfriend before me?"

He seems troubled by the look in my eyes. He shakes his head. "That's my point. I didn't expect to ever meet someone as wonderful as you. I figured Tiffany was as good as it got."

Now I shake my head. I can't believe it. "What, don't you believe in love?"

"Of course I do, honey!"

"Didn't you believe in it then?"

"Yeah, but–"

"No buts!" I shout louder than I ever thought I could. "If you truly believed in love, you would have known I was out there waiting for you. And yet, you still got together with _her _anyway."

Garth just shakes his head in confusion. He doesn't know how to respond. Good!

But I'm not done yet. "Back then, I was waiting, I was waiting for the best and most perfect wolf in the world to come and sweep me off my paws. That's what I'd always heard love was and that's what I knew would happen to me someday. Everybody thought I was silly for believing in something like that but I knew it would happen. I knew you'd come for me. And you didn't even think once about me before you met me."

"Lilly, I did think about the type of girl I'd want, the ideal girl but… we Alphas are trained not to live in a world of ideals. We're taught to look at the facts and make decisions based on them. We aren't allowed to think that there could be something better."

"Then how can you be good leaders?"

"We do the best we can. And I'm not perfect, Lilly. I never was."

I'm now angrier than ever. "Don't say that! Don't say that! You're perfect for me…. Or at least you were until you made this _thing!_"

Now Garth straitens a little and the look in his eye now has an ever-so-slight feeling of disapproval. "She has a name. It's Rosie."

I turn away. "I don't care. I don't care about her or what he name is. I just want my perfect life. Don't I deserve that? All my life, my parents and my pack saw me as second-best to my sister. And I didn't want that with you. I didn't want my family to be second-best to someone else's."

"Don't say that," he says, seeming almost as torn apart as I am. "Don't ever say that you and our pups would ever be second-best to anything. Rosie may be a part of my life, but she's a different part than that."

"A different part? I thought I was your whole life? Isn't that what you always told me? Isn't that what you always said to comfort me when I woke up from that nightmare where you and everyone else abandoned me? Isn't that what you said?"

Garth thinks hard about how to respond. When he does, he speaks slowly, "Yeah, but… you're my whole life, but in a different way."

"Liar!" I shout. "If I'm your whole life, I should be it in every way. There should be nothing else but you and me."

"I know, Lilly, I know," Garth says, and he seems like he's about to cry himself, "and if I could go back and change it, I would. But it happened and Rosie exists. I can't deny her just because I love you and the pups we'll have someday. That wouldn't be right. Besides, I think you'd like her if you got to know her. You and her have a lot in common."

I don't know how to respond. I'm getting flustered. I hate it when that happens. "I know it wouldn't be right. But I don't want to get to know her, because this isn't about _her_. It's about you and me! I still don't understand why you couldn't wait for me!"

"If only I had your faith, I would have," he says quietly. "Maybe I should have. I'm sorry I didn't. But it happened. It happened. And what's past is in the past. It's not here anymore."

"No, it isn't," I say. "The past survives in the present. Or else you wouldn't have a daughter."

He nods slowly. "Yes, that's true…. I don't know how many more ways I can say I'm sorry, Lilly." Then he turns around and, to my surprise, slowly walks out.

After that, he no longer tries to get me to talk or forgive him. I think he feels like he's lost the battle. And he has. No amount of explanations can be enough for what he did. There is no explaining it. If he didn't know what love was then, could he ever know?

I mean, isn't love one of those things which you know instinctively, which flow throughout the universe and into every soul as part of the fabric of being? Then how can you not know it?

I'm thinking this over one day while walking through a field of flowers. It's a beautiful day, with a bright sun and blue sky. And Garth's out hunting, so I don't have to worry about running into him. In all respects, it's perfect. So why am I so miserable?

And then, out of nowhere, I hear a small, quiet voice behind me, a voice I've never heard before. "M-m-miss L-L-Lilly?"

I swiftly turn my head. It's not so surprising that someone I don't know would know my name, since I am one of the pack leaders, but why would they ever want to talk to me?

And then I get my answer. Well, sorta. Rosie is slowly, shyly coming toward me.

I just turn my head and continue walking. As though I never saw her, even though both she and I know that I did.

"Miss L-Lilly! Wait!" she says. She runs up after me and stops right at my side.

"I-I-I guess… I guess you didn't see me," she says, just like I would in her situation.

I don't answer.

"I kn-know we haven't really… really talked before," she says, looking down at her paws. Something else I would do. "But is it ok-okay if I don't call you 'mom'? I mean, I already have a mom, so it would be awkward."

Not as awkward as this already is!

I still don't answer. I know I'm not handling this very tactfully, but I've never been in a situation like this before. I never thought I'd have to be in a situation like this before.

Rosie smiles at me nervously. I guess she meant the last part as a joke to try and make me less upset. Didn't work and it wasn't even funny!

She realizes that she didn't get through to me and we walk in an uncomfortable silence for a while. Each of us waits to see if the other is going to break it.

Finally, she does. "Why are you mad at dad?" she asks, trying to say it as innocently as she can.

But it upsets me more. After everything I was doing to get my mind off... him… she has to go and bring him up. "It's not really any of your business," I say, very quietly. It's almost like a whisper.

She looks down at her paws again. "It's because of me, isn't it?"

And now I glance over at her. She looks miserable and she won't face me. It's as though she thinks she did something wrong just by being born. As mad as I am at Garth and this whole situation, my heart breaks to see her beating herself up like that.

How do I know she's beating herself up? Because I do all the time and I know what it looks like.

"It's not your fault," I say softly. "It really isn't. I don't blame you for anything. I don't even blame your mom."

Then she looks at me, we lock eyes, and I notice for the first time that she has her father's eyes. They're that same shining shade of emerald green. And now I absolutely can't hate her – not with eyes like that.

"Then why are you treating dad like this? He's not like he was the first few days. Now he's all sad and gloomy. He says it's not my fault but he won't tell me why."

I force myself to smile. After all, she seems to need comforting more than I do right now. Though I still wish someone would comfort me.

I say, "I just can't forgive Garth for it. He should have known better. He should have known that the right wolf would come along for him."

"Maybe he thought mom was the right one at the time. He didn't know any better," she says.

I clench my teeth. "He should have known!"

The sudden anger in my voice makes her jump back a few inches. I wait for her to catch up to me again, but she seems frightened and takes a few seconds to move forward.

"Don't you love him anymore?" she asks, closing her eyes like she's bracing for something.

And I don't answer. She opens her eyes to see if I heard her and what's taking me so long. I just stare at her. The truth is, I don't know. I don't know how I feel now. I thought our love was lasting and eternal. Apparently, I was wrong.

"I… I want to love him," I say at last. "I really do. But is our love real if it didn't stop this from happening?"

"He still loves you, you know," she says. "It seems like all he talks to me about is you and how I'd love you if I got to know you."

Now I look away and start studying my paws. "I want to believe that. I really want to believe it. But love is supposed to be eternal. It should have always been and it should always be. It's destiny, it's fate, it's meant to be. Or it's not love."

"Maybe it is. But maybe I was meant to be, too. Just because things are meant to be doesn't mean they aren't messy."

"I just wish we could tell!" I say. "I wish we could tell what's meant to be and what isn't."

"Yeah," she says, "we can't do that. But then we wouldn't want to put the work into finding it for ourselves. Who knows, maybe dad did know – or at least a part of him knew – that you were out there, but he didn't know how to find you…."

She falls silent. But I think I understand what she means. "You mean, he didn't know who I was, so he wanted to see if your mom was meant to be his true love. But then when he realized she wasn't, he broke up with her and started looking again. Right?"

"Yeah, that's what I mean," she says. "But maybe also he had to know mom so that he could find out better what he was looking for. After all, he loves you so very much."

I smile at her. Garth was right, I do like her. Maybe I even love her like the daughter that should have been Garth's and mine. "And maybe they had to have you so that we could all learn more," I say.

She picks up her head and smiles back.

But then the smile drops from my face as I remember something. Then it drops from hers as well when she sees this. I say, "I know it's not your fault, but I always figured me and Garth would have a daughter of our own someday. And now I feel like Garth won't love me and her as much as he loves you. He won't give us all his love because he has another family to love."

Her head drops back down. "I knew it was my fault."

I panic as I realize that I just hurt her more than she needs to be hurt. Silly Omega! "Nonononono! It isn't your fault," I say, "that's not something you can change. And you're only responsible for what you can change."

She tries to smile but can't. "I never thought of love like that. I didn't know it could be limited."

And, suddenly, something clicks in my head. She's right. She's right!

"Actually, I've never thought that, either…." I say as I remember things I've let myself forget. "It seems to me that love is something you should feel for everybody. And you give it to each person in the way they need it. I thought that Garth couldn't possess enough love to give to us, and then we wouldn't possess enough, but the point of love is not possessing, but giving. And there isn't anything to stop him from giving love."

She looks up to me, her eyes filled with hope, not sure of what to make of what I'm saying.

"Rosie, I love you," I say to her. "I didn't give birth to you, but you're as much my daughter now as you're Garth's. And, if you want, you can always call me mom."

She smiles and, to my surprise, hugs me. I return it with a hug of my own.

Everybody looks surprised when they see the two of us walking together and talking together happily as we return to the center of the valley, near the hunting grounds. But no one looks more surprised than does Garth, just finished with his hunt, whose jaw drops as he sees us coming. He runs toward us.

"Lilly? Rosie? What's going on?" he asks, looking from one of us to the other in complete disbelief.

"Me and mom were just talking about stuff," Rosie says. "She was telling me about the whole western pack."

I smile. "And Rosie was telling me all about her other mother and what life is like over there. Oh, and all the embarrassing stories she told her about you in Alpha school."

Garth smiles with embarrassment. "Not the one with the beaver, I hope, he he."

We both burst out laughing. "That was the funniest one!" I say.

Garth chuckles a little in humiliation. But then he realizes that I'm talking to him. "So, I guess this means you're not still mad at me?" he says, half shying away in case he's wrong.

My smile grows wider, I can just feel it. "Of course I'm not mad at you anymore. Rosie helped me realize how much you still mean to me and how much I still mean to you. I realized that our love doesn't have to die just because of what happened. Maybe it was all for the best after all."

Garth smiles happily. "Yeah, and I'd never thought I was betraying you or anything, Lilly. The right she-wolf was just so hard to find and if I would have realized where you were, I never would have–"

I stop him. "I know, Garth, I know. And I love you for that. I've always loved you and I always will. And I know you've always loved me and someday we'll be able to share all that love with our pups."

"Lilly, I love you!" he says happily. And then he pulls me into a big hug. Rosie watches us and then looks to her paws, smiling. But I can tell she feels left out.

I know because I used to feel that way all the time and I know what it looks like.

As Garth and I are hugging, I say, "But we can start sharing our love as parents now."

Both Garth and Rosie look at me in complete confusion. My tail starts to wag and I smile bigger than any time I can remember. And then I pull Rosie into the hug.

"Because we've already got a family," I say.


End file.
